Despite the fact that I’ve been eating like a queen the past week, I’ve managed to completely neglect and disregard my blog’s constant attention-starved cries. Yikes. To sum it up… well, I’ve had so many meals! Bangers and mash (British style and eliciting endless ridiculous jokes), dijon, shallot, white wine, brown sugar, and honey Atlantic salmon, chicken caesar salad, and about 7 other dishes I can’t remember because I am a LAZY AND INCOMPETENT MOTHERFUCKER. Oh, well. I was groaning all day about how bad I felt about neglecting the one creative outlet I have, and then I remembered, OH YEAH MY TECHNOLOGY IS FAILING ME EVERY GODDAMN DAY. I’ve been taking photos and finally I tried to upload them and my memory card was all “I AM A CORRUPT ROBOT AND I HAVE NO IMAGES ON ME” and my card reader was like AND HEY, BY THE WAY! I, TOO, AM MASSIVELY BROKEN! YOU HAVE TO BUY A NEW ONE, NOW! And I was like HOLY SHIT GUYS YOU ARE WAY TOO MUCH WORK. If you don’t know me by now, you probably have a good idea of my abrasive demeanor based on my solid use of all caps. It is terrifying. And unrelenting. So now that I’m waiting for my next paycheck and cursing technology, it looks like all I’ve got to work with at the moment is my cell phone camera. Anyhow, today I took this hilarious photo of the way that C chops bell peppers. IT IS SO SCREWED UP. I can’t even really begin to comprehend it, but I find it charming and find myself totally baffled and incredulous that I’ve FINALLY found one weird thing he does in his cooking protocol that makes no sense whatsoever. But I like it. Don’t you?