Soup for Sickos

1 Oct

A wretched cold has been sweeping through my workplace (and if not a cold, my coworkers seem to be plagued with hangovers from hell and slipped discs… ugh it’s been a long couple weeks) and after avoiding it from C, I finally caught it after two days. Yesterday he was sent home after working for just a couple hours, and called in sick today, now I’ve been sent home and am cooking up a cure-all as I type this. C is asleep in my room, since he exerted all of his energy after a daunting two-block walk to the grocery store- YIKES, WE ARE PATHETIC RIGHT NOW. Luckily I have a couple more ounces of exertion left in me, and the ridiculously warm and awesome last-of-September sun is keeping me awake.

I wanted to make a white bean soup, but since I never write down my recipe it changes drastically in taste every time, which seriously bums me out. I figured I’d add bacon this time, so I was scrutinizing the bacon prices and in my hazy-sick-stupor I was like, uuuuuummmm, did bacon always cost $9.29 per pound? And C is like, OH HELL NO. So we bought the crappiest bacon we could find ($3.29 per pound… no local/nitrate free for us today, BOO) and when I fried it up it looked like a pile of fatty tendons- yum. Or not.

OKAY FAST FORWARD LIKE 6 HOURS BECAUSE I GAVE UP WRITING THIS HALFWAY THROUGH AND THEN DECIDED THAT MAYBE IT’S NOT A LOST CAUSE AFTER ALL:

So I threw it in the soup and cautiously ate around the white gelatinous bits, hoping it might just impart some flavor or something. I looked up why bacon was so absurdly expensive because we live in an age when we can totally waste time looking up things that have no importance whatsoever, and would you guess that the answer is actually REMARKABLY BORING?! Oh yes, there’s an answer, as of one month ago bacon prices have indeed skyrocketed due to something about how expensive pigs are to keep, blah blah blah. I was hoping for headlines more like,

INTERNATIONAL MAN HUNT ACCIDENTALLY LEADS BOUNTY-SEEKING OPPORTUNISTS INTO WORLDWIDE PIG SLAUGHTER

or,

PIGS LEARN TO SWIM, VANISH

Oh, well. Boring answers as always, interwebz. Well played.

Back to business! Other ingredients in the soup: mirepoix, of course, cannelloni beans, aforementioned shit bacon, parsley, sage, thyme, salt, pepper, dill, and olive oil. Then I dutifully took a photo of it, which actually turned out pretty okay, and then promptly remembered that my memory card reader is broken. So I drove to pick up a new one in the middle of rush hour traffic. AND THE STORE IS ALL OUT OF STOCK. And I’m all, well this IS Fred Meyer, at least they’ll have POG (pineapple orange guava) juice so I can feel better on this miserable, miserable day! And then Fred Meyer was all, GUESS WHAT, I WANT YOU TO SUFFER… NO JUICE FOR YOU. So I pretty much drowned my misery with copious over-shopping of expensive produce and Nutella. Because I’m a masochist and want to gain a million billion pounds. Really. And you know what? The soup was okay, considering the half crazed chest cold- induced state I was in, but C couldn’t really taste or smell anything, so he can’t back me up on this. That, or he CAN taste and smell, but it was so horrendous that he was lying so as not to hurt my feelings. Actually, this is very possible.

And since I don’t have any food photos, but don’t believe in posting without something fun to look at, please enjoy this snapshot my macbook took of me and C being grumpy about being sick. Yeah, enjoy that little gem.

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