Why, baby Jesus, why?

5 Oct

I’m still very much in the clutches of this devil-cold, but last night I was dead set on fulfilling my promise to Riley of a Greek dinner. I haven’t made much Greek food before, but figured it couldn’t be that hard, and it wasn’t! I decided on spanakopita and lamb meatballs with tzatziki sauce since I was in the mood to fool around with phyllo dough and meatballs are a cinch and I LOVE THOSE DELICIOUS LITTLE MEAT JEWELS. Tragically this is going to be another photoless blog since even though I bought a new memory card, it decided to just not work. Right out of the package. As in, $25 was dropped on this useless piece of plastic and I plugged it into the computer and my computer was all, “I DON’T SEE ANY MEMORY CARD!” And then I looked it up and everyone’s all, THIS CARD READER IS SHIT AND DON’T BOTHER ASKING FOR A SOLUTION BECAUSE THERE ISN’T ONE. Oh, good. That’s really what I felt like reading when I came home from work today, pushed the hair plastered to my forehead into a heinous pile on top of my head, and thought the one thing that might bring me an ounce on enjoyment today is finally being able to upload my photos. But what’s that? No photo uploads for me? Well that’s just fine, I’ll just recount the horrors of the line today in my head instead! OH, GOOD.

Anyway, WOW, this is what happens when I write a blog before I’ve gotten a chance to complain to whoever will pretend to listen about my day. Which, now that I think about it, might be a good idea- maybe my friends will like me better.

So! Spanakopita was super easy and basically consisted of a sauteed garlic and onion, chopped spinach, feta, dill, salt, and egg mixture layered with a bunch of phyllo dough. The only problem was that I was so congested that I couldn’t taste anything. Like, at all. The texture, however, was outstanding. Flaky, buttery, and for all I know, it tasted like a filthy kitchen rag. Who knows? Riley and C seemed to like it. The meatballs were (I think!?) good, and as usual, so easy that a trained ferret could make it if it had opposable thumbs. Here’s a recipe! I made it up! The ratios are guesstimated so don’t look at me all wonky if it’s not exactly what you thought it would be! But I promise, it’ll turn out, meatballs always do.

Greek Lamb Meatballz

makes about 20? 25? meatballerz. Obviously I didn’t count. I just ate.

1 lb ground lamb
2 eggs
1/3 cup bread crumbs
1 cup finely chopped sauteed yellow onions
3 Tbs chopped parsley
1/3 cup crumbled feta
2 tsp dill
salt and pepper to taste

Basically all you have to do here is throw all those ingredients in a bowl, plunge your (clean) hands into the mess, then pretend you’re massaging a rich guy’s scalp and pretty soon you’ll have a lovely, meaty mixture. Then oil a pan and shape little balls (ha. I said balls.) and drop them on the pan. The meatballs should be about an inch in diameter. I put them in the oven at 350 for about 30 minutes, giving them a solid shake halfway through so they browned up. But the temperature and timing is variable, just as long as they’re browned on the outside and cooked through (just cut one open, those meat thermometers are more trouble than they’re worth). I served it with tzatziki sauce for dipping, here’s THAT recipe! It’s super easy! It’s probably not authentic because I kind of made this up, too! But it got solid results from my test audience, so THERE YOU GO.

Tzatziki saus

makes more than you need. I have no idea what to do with my leftover sauce. I probably have a cup left.

2 cups Greek yogurt
1/2 peeled and finely grated cucumber
(I realize you’re supposed to use more but I was lazy and had drunk several glasses of wine…the odds of cutting myself on that grater were not in my favor so I quit while I was ahead)
2 cloves pressed garlic
1 Tb red wine vinegar
1 tsp dill
pinch of salt

Yep… just mix all this together and you get something like tzatziki sauce. I think it was good. I told you, I couldn’t taste it. You’ll just have to trust me.

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