Meatcookery? Yes please, in festival form!

27 Apr

Another successful day at Goodwill, filled with an entire aisle of culinary delights! I nearly left with an armload, but forced myself (for the sake of my meager little cookbook cabinet) to do as the naturalists do and leave only footprints, take only pictures. Because seriously, my kitchen shoes were leaving black greasy footprints ALLZ OVER THE PLACE. First up is the gloriously named Festival of Meatcookery. I know when it comes to me and meatcookery, I’m only in if it’s a fucking FESTIVAL! Where the festival currency is meat! And platters of meat spill out of every storefront! And the blue ribbon goes to creations like these (!):

I don’t know what this is, but damn it if it’s not the most abstractly lovely meat creation I’ve seen in  long time (meat gelatins not included).

Next is the 1992 book, Bread Electric. Or is it Electric Bread? DAMN IT, GRAPHICS.

I love this book because it’s rock and roll, like Journey, and edgy like Madonna, BUT WITH BREAD. Bread instead of celebrities. It’s the only way to eat bread.

Then of course there’s Madame Benoit’s Library of Canadian Cooking. 

I’m just amazed that Canada even HAS 6,000 recipes. Like, not even in this cookbook, but in Canada in general. Ha! CANADA!

And with the prize for Best Cover Photograph, Scandinavian Cooking. This book confused me because it was mostly text and pictures of Scandinavian people, and I was like, what, do I eat the people? Where is the food? And most importantly, HOW DO I FERMENT A SHARK??? From what I can tell from this photo, I dice up the shark, stuff it in a jar with onions, carrots, and presumably some vinegar or something, and then serve it alongside the world’s tallest mini-martini. Dude. If King Arthur drank extremely tall mini martinis, he’d be all over this! The glass style really screams Knights of the Round Table… well, to me anyway.

Somehow I managed to refrain from purchasing every one of these gems, though I’m kind of having non-buyer’s remorse for Festival of Meatcookery. I mean, I, like any other self-respecting meat eater, could probably do with a little more party with my protein… but what’re you gonna do. I’m nearly positive that the weird elderly gentleman who hovered behind me in the cookbook aisle for a solid 20 minutes was just waiting for moment I put down the book. So it’s probably at his house. Right next to the Iguana Care Companion Guide and Time Life’s Collector Series of the Civil War. 

The good news is that I found, possibly, the saddest snowglobe ever to be manufactured.

Poor kitty. Always struggling to get it’s face out of the water, and never, ever succeeding. And with this as your companion, it’s time for bed. Goodnight, no nightmares of meat or felines, please!

2 Responses to “Meatcookery? Yes please, in festival form!”

  1. Ron Shelby April 27, 2012 at 7:54 am #

    Your scandanivian cookbook is part of a much larger set of over 20 cusines. Each book comes with a wire bound book of recipes for that area of the world.

  2. loftymom April 28, 2012 at 12:19 am #

    Sally, this is extremely entertaining! ROTFLMBO at midnight!!!!!

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