Tag Archives: baking

Jealous of my own creation

16 Sep

Not to toot my own horn or anything, but seriously. This cake… whoa. This cake has built an empire in my imagination because I didn’t eat ANY OF IT. So I can only imagine how lovely it was. And as long as we’re forced to imagine it’s greatness, I might as well assume it was the best. Thing. Ever.

My pal at work asked me to bake a cake for our friend’s lowkey surprise birthday gathering, so even though I had plans to galavant around San Juan Island, I agreed to make it anyhow. I almost got really lazy and thought, “I’m not even going to be there…and no one will even notice if I buy the mix!” But honestly THAT’S NEVER TRUE and I wasn’t doing much that day besides watching Gordon Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares on netflix, so… it’s not like I was swamped or anything. As usual I turned to Bittman’s How to Cook Everything, because it is my bible and I trust every word it says. Some serious pan flouring, egg white whipping, and chocolate melting later, here we were.


The only problem was that I had to drop off the cake in the morning since I was leaving for the island in the afternoon, and by 10 am the strawberries were all I’M TIRRRRRED and plopping off the cake left and right. Refrigerating it seemed to make it worse, but luckily C thought of toothpicks (toothpicks? Really, I couldn’t have thought of that? STUPID.) to hold the berries in place until the evening. Everywhere the strawberries fell they left a trail of gooey chocolatey slime, which actually tasted amazing but was hell to look at… nothing some paper towel couldn’t take care of. Realistically this cake was probably “good!” but I’m going to go ahead and assume that everyone’s reaction upon taking the first bites of my cake were, “HOLY BALLS I NEVER TASTED ANYTHING SO MAGICAL IN MY LIIIIIIFE!” Here’s hopin’.

Bad Banana!

19 Nov

I left for Pennsylvania with a note to my roommate instructing him to eat all of my perishable food, which he did a pretty good job of, but still, I came home to some foul bananas.

Bad banana! I know some creeps who would consider this banana still perfectly edible, and to them I say, GROSS, YOU’RE WRONG AND IT’S GONNA TASTE LIKE A BIG PILE OF BANANA-MEALY-MUSH. WEIRDO.  Luckily, there’s hope for this banana yet. Unfortunately I don’t know anything too crafty, like, banana flan or something that actually takes creativity or skill. Nah, just make some banana bread! The Joy of Cooking recipe is super easy and I’ve never, ever met anyone who doesn’t like banana bread. Especially if you add chocolate to the equation.

Here’s the deal, though, MINI CHOCOLATE CHIPS ARE IMPERATIVE. Regular size chocolate chips won’t do… my stupid self tried that a whopping FOUR times before I realized that the chips were just too heavy and would, without a doubt, drop to the bottom and form a weird burnt-chocolate crust on the bottom of the loaf. Every. Time.  So just save yourself some homemaker-angst and fork over the extra couple bucks for the ingredient you might not actually have in the house. Everything else in any given banana bread recipe is already in your cupboard… right behind your roommate’s mysterious boxes of Rice-A-Roni and those off-brand kidney beans that you JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH, JESUS CHRIST. So calm down, forget about the fact that the only food in your pantry is covered with dust and probably inedible, and just make something in the oven like a respectable adult. Also, your house is going to smell rad when this is in the oven, which definitely scored me a couple boyfriend points (something had to be done after he fried eggrolls, my roommate made steak, and late night drunk munchies required some avocado grilled cheese sandwiches…. my house smelled like a giant hobo foot- YIKES).

Also, old bananas are fun to take photos of, if nothing else.  I’ll admit that these are not the actual bananas I used for the bread… GASP. NO ONE CARES. Nah, the ones I used were solid brown and looked like the devil’s fruit incarnate. These ones were actually kind of pretty, yeah? Nonetheless, as long as the banana is passed the perfect firmness  (read: more then one or two brown spots, for me) I think it’s bread-making time.

Let’s be real- I just wanted to show you my awesome sparrow plates.

So…one winter blog entry down, well, some more to go. My challenge now in the winter time is to actually maintain this blog and my love of food… when really all I want to do is watch Golden Girls on my couch. Under three blankets. Preferably when C is making me something pasta-related and pouring wine into a mason jar for me (wine glasses are cursed in my household, I’ll apparently never be classy enough to own them without immediate breakage in the dish rack). Unless I fall into the icy pits of winter doldrums, I’ll talk soon. Pray for meeeeeee!

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